Now, this is the story all about how,
My life got flipped-turned upside down,
And I’d like to take a minute, just listen to my beat,
I’ll tell you how I became the girl who loved to eat.
In Farmington, New Mexico, born but not raised,
On the fast food is where I spent most of my days,
Taco Bell, Mickey D’s, sometimes Burger King,
And stuffin’ in some French fries with a taste that made me sing.
When a couple of calories who were up to no good,
Started addin’ extra pounds in my neighborhood.
I got in too tight of jeans and I saw my fate,
I said, “I gotta get control of my ever increasing weight.”
Yeah, yeah I know what you’re thinking. If I need a career change, DON’T change to rapping. . .I have looked my rapstar name up on www.rapstarname.com and my FAVORITE option was “Mamma Lips.” So if you ever hear about an album topping the charts from Mamma Lips, you can say, “Hey! I knew her before she was a star!” And I’ll even sign a poster for ya.
So this is a blog to talk about health. Where I’ve been, what I’m doing, where I’m going, my struggles, accomplishments, and goals. This is as much for me as it is to encourage others in health. We all are going to have our own stories of health and what I’m doing and works for me, won’t necessarily work for you. There are definitely some principles that’ll work for everyone, but ultimately, you’ve got to find what will work for you and what will keep you motivated because getting back your health is hard work. WORTH every bit of work, but hard work.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with my weight. I have ALWAYS been the tall/big girl in my group of friends. ALWAYS. Like literally back to elementary where I stood on the back row during on Picture Day because I was taller than all of the boys. However, looking back, I definitely was not always really that big. I was just comparing myself to my friends and was bigger than they were. Oh, I would love to go back to High School Carrie and talk some sense into her! But . . .she probably wouldn’t have been ready to listen.
I was active in sports up through high school, so even though I was bigger than all of my friends, and probably TECHNICALLY (according to the BMI) overweight, I really was pretty healthy and athletic. I had no problems keeping up with people in sports. It definitely went downhill (and up the scale) from college on. I became WAY less active and really was lazy in what I ate and how I took care of my body. I also always had it in the back of my mind that maybe I would never be able to be thin because I just didn’t have the body type or genes necessary for that, so why waste my time and effort for an unattainable goal.
I’d get motivated for a while and try a diet or new fitness program but lacked the motivation and discipline needed to really make a difference. The crazy thing was that I actually REALLY like healthy food but also love the terrible for you food as well and probably more than anything, I lacked the discipline I needed to make long term changes. I tried some CRAZY diets desperate to lose weight. I THINK they were all fairly healthy ways to lose weight but none that I could stick with. There was one that really makes me laugh looking back. You basically listened to this really relaxing music/spoken word that was supposed to help you change your mindset so you’d make better choices. I remember there were ocean noises in the background and a sensual voice talking to me about my eating. . .now I’m not knocking that method because again, that could work great for someone, but it definitely was not up my alley. I even purchased Hip Hop Abs. . .and did it oh, maybe once or twice.
One summer after college out of desperation to fit into a bridesmaid dress that did NOT fit at the beginning of June, I kicked my butt in gear to eat healthy and exercise regularly so that PRAISE THE LORD it fit perfectly by the end of July. Since then though, it’s really been an up and down struggle of trying to eat healthy, exercising and trying to lose weight. . .losing some. . .only to gain it back and gain even more.
THANKFULLY, in the midst of my struggle with weight, I have had a pretty healthy self-confidence. I completely believe that the Lord helped me with this. Even though I wasn’t happy with how I looked (weight-wise), I still was confident in who I was and in my abilities and what I’d had to offer to a friendship or group. MOST of my friends really didn’t even know that I struggled with confidence related to my weight.
But I’ve finally come to the point where I KNOW I need a change. A big change. I want to be at a healthy weight for SO many reasons, but here are my main ones:
1. I want to live a FULL and vibrant active life. I REALLY want to go skydiving. REALLY want to. My sister has even given me money to go as a gift and I’ve never gone. To fully enjoy the experience, I need to be at a healthier weight. I also want to hike the Grand Canyon. Right now, I’m definitely not in shape to do that. I want to be at a healthy weight so that I don’t hesitate to do these kinds of things.
2. I don’t want to be worried about my weight and focusing on myself and miss out on opportunities to love on other people because I’m so focused on my insecurities.
3. I want to be a good example of health to my nephew and nieces and possibly children someday.
4. I want to be able to walk into any store, find what I like, and find my size. I love shopping and love fashion but when you are plus-sized, it’s MUCH harder to find clothes that fit right and are flattering.
5. If I ever get married, I want to be confident in my body because I don’t want that to get in the way of my relationship with my husband.
6. I want to sit in an airplane seat, theater seat, roller coaster, etc. and not feel like I’m spilling over onto the person next to me. Ha I can’t believe I actually verbalized this one. It’s not one I really share with many people but it is a real struggle for someone who struggles with their weight.
So that is my why, here is my how: Right now, I’m a part of a program called Take Shape for Life. It’s a holistic program that focuses on living at optimal health but they don’t just talk about your weight. They focus on healthy habits that include things like healthy eating, exercise, restful/restorative sleep, reducing stress, and having healthy finances. I have a free health coach that I talk to weekly who encourages me, keeps me accountable, and teaches me about healthy habits. She is incredible and a missing piece that I haven’t had in my other endeavors. Take Shape for Life is not a diet, it’s changing my unhealthy habits that have gotten me where I am to healthy habits that will get me where I want to be.
I’ll talk more about Take Shape for Life later or answer specific questions if people have them, but for this time in my life Take Shape for Life is exactly what I needed. I have never before REALLY believed that I could actually get to a healthy weight. The tools and knowledge that I have gained have given me the hope that this could ACTUALLY HAPPEN. I’m learning the discipline that I’ve lacked and focusing on the motivation that will keep me on track.
I have a LOT to lose to be at an optimal weight, but so far have lost 27.4 lbs. It’s a huge dent and so motivating to keep going! Please pray for me if you think of it and join me in a journey to health if that’s something you need to do. I’d be happy to help keep you accountable, offer advice or suggestions, or just journey with you!
I want to, like the title of my blog, “Eat to live, not live to eat.” I got this idea from an amazing book that I’m reading called “Made to Crave” by Lysa Terkeurst. (Thank you Mel for giving me the book!) It offers a unique Biblical perspective on health that I’d never heard before. It’s rocking my world and helping me have a totally different mindset. I’ll share more from her book on another post, but would highly recommend it!
Now there is NOTHING wrong with food and delicious food at that. However, I want to learn to focus on what food will do for my body and enjoy occasional treats but for the most part eat food that is going to fuel my body and get me to where I want to be in life. I don’t want to be stuck in a vicious of eating, gaining, stressing-eating, gaining, stressing,(Made to Crave). I want to live in victory.